How would you rate yourself as a father, wife, husband, mother, from a scale of 1 to 10? But you cannot use 7.

A few years ago I would have rated myself a four on the husband and maybe a five or six on the Dad’s scale. I had a lot of built-up resentment and anger towards my family for what I thought I needed to do to provide for them. Forgiving myself that’s been one of the biggest struggles I’ve had. There will be more on forgiveness on next week’s email.

Now think about how your wife or husband or kids would rate you. This is a tough one and try to be completely honest with yourself.

Now how do you think you could improve on your number?

I had a very very difficult time being honest with my family and I just had to stop lying and be more open about how I was feeling and what I was struggling with.

Is your life working? This is either a yes or a no. Then I would ask yourself how do you know? And how did I get here? And finally am I clear about what I’m fighting for?

Please feel free to respond to this email and ask me for any clarification or share some of your thoughts. Also would be happy to jump on a phone call with anybody. We’re going to have all of these emails on a blog post on my personal website which is Phil Randazzo.com and please feel free to pass this along to anyone you care about that might benefit from just answering these simple questions. See you all next week.

Phil

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From Becoming Available by Phil Randazzo

Your self-imposed prison is built from attachments and the delusion of time—freedom is built from awareness.

Scripted in a language we inherited, we carry unconscious thoughts and beliefs no one else can see; all others notice are our behaviors. Behind every face lives a secret life, hidden from others, and you are the only one who can tend to your own inner world. No two humans inhabit the same reality—only their perspective—so the question becomes: who is looking after yours?

The delusion of time convinces us that we should be further along, that others are ahead, or that we’re running out of time. This pressure holds us back from what’s possible and robs us of peace with what is. This is suffering. When the unconscious becomes conscious, it transforms into awareness—and awareness opens the door to integration and true freedom. You’ve been seeking relief, not a cure. Stop playing the victim and acting out, because it only deepens the exhaustion of being “tired of being tired.”

Stop postponing your happiness into the future. You came here for a reason. The real question is: have you been available? You are asleep, and part of you doesn’t want to wake up.

Less You, More Life

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